Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

This is a little late for the day, so writer friends, don't forget me please!

This is a piece from my new WIP! (yay!) It's a snip from the first chapter. Jessa (who has already been introduced, etc. etc.) is standing at Apollo's statue in the Temple of Apollo in Delphi. She's on a summer school trip in Greece. Still working on my voice for this one, and I think I need to add some more description, but for a first draft, I'm happy.

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I pulled my hand from the statue, not wanting to look like a complete idiot in case any one noticed how long I’d been touching the stupid thing. A dull ache in the back of my head pushed my thoughts away, as if making room for more pain. I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten, hoping the headache wouldn’t grow to skull-shattering like this morning.

And that’s when I felt I was being watched.

I opened my eyes and turned towards my friends. They were near the front of the temple and not paying me any attention. Good. But then who was? Self-consciousness sifted its way through me, twisting my nerves into sailor knots. Down the expansive hall on my other side, a figure stood, motionless. My tongue wasn’t the only thing that felt frozen in ice. My breath hitched and I took a step back. The semi-attractive Greek boy, Henry, who’d followed me all around Athens museum, stared at me in the distance.

Don’t get me wrong, having any kind of boy, let alone a Greek one, follow me around added bonus points to the constantly dipping Richter scale of my self-confidence. But it started to get more than creepy when I kept seeing him at each exhibit, and to tip the creep-factor, he introduced himself. Not wanting to be the next on some freak’s human trafficking list—because I’m that compulsive over safety—I had escaped into the crowd of my classmates.

To be at Apollo’s temple in Delphi, an hour-and-a-half bus trip from Athens was more than coincidental. It had to be. His body language confirmed it for me. Even in the distance, every part of him was stiff, his eyes wide beneath his tight blond curls, as if he’d seen something terrifying. My throat pulsed, my mouth went dry, and my breath was on the verge of asthmatic. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

11 comments:

  1. Very intriguing, I really want to read more, and Jessa seems really real, I love her worst case scenario thoughts.

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  2. lol, same here. Love the humor and tension you've mingled together. And the creepiness. Not to mention the typical name for a Greek boy, lol. "Henry"... wonder if that's his actual name or an alias? ;)

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  3. Ooooh! Can't wait to read more!
    Nice set-up.

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  4. I think she's got a great voice and I'm definitely interested in what happens next. Excellent start!

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  5. I really like her voice. I think she seems very real and you've set something up that I'm interested to know more about.

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  6. thanks everyone! Guess I shouldn't be *as* worried about the voice. I'm glad it's interesting. The first chapter is always the hardest for me, personally.

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  7. I agree with the others--I think you've got plenty of voice here. Interesting set-up, curious to see where it goes! :)

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  8. Dude, this is great! I love her voice, and the humor mixed with tension is so, well, intense! I'd love to read more of this!

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  9. Wonderful voice, Christa!

    My fav: "twisting my nerves into sailor knots" -- VERY nice.

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  10. Ooh, I think the voice is coming through nice and strong. Intriguing set up - I definitely want to read more.

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  11. Your voice is shaping up nicely. The tension and anxiety comes through clear--that creeping sensation of being watched by a stranger and not knowing why.

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