I pulled my hand from the statue, not wanting to look like a complete idiot in case any one noticed how long I’d been touching the stupid thing. A dull ache in the back of my head pushed my thoughts away, as if making room for more pain. I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten, hoping the headache wouldn’t grow to skull-shattering like this morning.
And that’s when I felt I was being watched.
I opened my eyes and turned towards my friends. They were near the front of the temple and not paying me any attention. Good. But then who was? Self-consciousness sifted its way through me, twisting my nerves into sailor knots. Down the expansive hall on my other side, a figure stood, motionless. My tongue wasn’t the only thing that felt frozen in ice. My breath hitched and I took a step back. The semi-attractive Greek boy, Henry, who’d followed me all around
Don’t get me wrong, having any kind of boy, let alone a Greek one, follow me around added bonus points to the constantly dipping Richter scale of my self-confidence. But it started to get more than creepy when I kept seeing him at each exhibit, and to tip the creep-factor, he introduced himself. Not wanting to be the next on some freak’s human trafficking list—because I’m that compulsive over safety—I had escaped into the crowd of my classmates.
To be at Apollo’s temple in Delphi, an hour-and-a-half bus trip from
Very intriguing, I really want to read more, and Jessa seems really real, I love her worst case scenario thoughts.
ReplyDeletelol, same here. Love the humor and tension you've mingled together. And the creepiness. Not to mention the typical name for a Greek boy, lol. "Henry"... wonder if that's his actual name or an alias? ;)
ReplyDeleteOoooh! Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteNice set-up.
I think she's got a great voice and I'm definitely interested in what happens next. Excellent start!
ReplyDeleteI really like her voice. I think she seems very real and you've set something up that I'm interested to know more about.
ReplyDeletethanks everyone! Guess I shouldn't be *as* worried about the voice. I'm glad it's interesting. The first chapter is always the hardest for me, personally.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others--I think you've got plenty of voice here. Interesting set-up, curious to see where it goes! :)
ReplyDeleteDude, this is great! I love her voice, and the humor mixed with tension is so, well, intense! I'd love to read more of this!
ReplyDeleteWonderful voice, Christa!
ReplyDeleteMy fav: "twisting my nerves into sailor knots" -- VERY nice.
Ooh, I think the voice is coming through nice and strong. Intriguing set up - I definitely want to read more.
ReplyDeleteYour voice is shaping up nicely. The tension and anxiety comes through clear--that creeping sensation of being watched by a stranger and not knowing why.
ReplyDelete