Monday, January 25, 2010

Teaser Tuesday

Lovin' lots on Mythic right now, so another excerpt. This one is further in, Chapter 18. Not much explanation is needed except for that Zach is her ex but before that they were best friends for a long time. He's with a girl named Ashlyn now. He offered Jessa a ride home (they live next door) and they're in his truck, so here we go:


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Zach rolled his shoulders back, maybe trying to relax or talk himself out of or into whatever the heck he was playing at. “I dunno, just thought we’d try the whole friends thing again.”

I faced him and hardened my jaw. “Don’t you already have somebody for that?”

“What? Ashlyn?” He glanced my way. “She’s just—”

“Your girlfriend.”

His knuckles tightened over the steering wheel. It felt sweet to make him uncomfortable like this. The jealousy and anger building in me for the past two months were ready to break through my mental dam and drown the hell out of Zach.

“You left me, Zach. For a stupid bitch.” Boy, I was letting it all out.

“Hey—”

“No, you don’t get to ‘hey’ me. I can say whatever I want about her. You really thought we could make this friends thing work? After that?” You killed me. Dug my heart out with a spork and tossed it on a butcher block. “So why? ‘Cause I know you’re not that stupid.”

His cheeks went hollow, a sure sign he was getting pissed off. I needed this, a craving worse than Dr. Pepper after days without, or my inhaler after sprinting down the block. “Why, Zach?” I spit his name out, hoping to prod his temper to the point of combusting, wanting him to feel just as angry or just as hurt.

“I don’t know,” he snapped. “Alright? I don’t know. It’s just, it ain’t right without you.”

“Do what?” My heart nearly went on strike. This wasn’t what I wanted. Yelling, screaming, a curse word or two, that’s what I was going for.

Zach seemed to have lost his tongue.

“Zach. Speak.” I snapped my fingers. This bitch thing was kind of fun.

He sighed, clearly uncomfortable, his finger tapping nervously to the beat of the song on his player. “I don’t mean like that.”

I rolled my eyes despite the stab puncturing a hole through me. “Oh, yeah, that’s a relief.”

“Can you just shut up for a minute?”

My eyebrows shot up and I leaned forward. “Excuse me? Civil conversation with the ex? Fail. Stop the car.”

He gave a whiny growl and flexed his fingers off the steering. “No, just hear me out. I know I’m a dick head for what I did, I got it, okay? But Christ, Jessa, we’ve done everything together.”

I arched a brow and pursed my lips at that particular wording.

He laughed a little. “Okay, well, not everything. But you get what I’m saying.”

“Yeah, I do. And it took you two months to figure it out?” Boys were so stupid. Sure, throw six years of friendship down the shitter for a chance down Ashlyn Morrison’s pants and think everything would be peachy keen.

He didn’t say anything and hoping for the situation to fuse again, I tilted my head and added, “You’re really stupid, Zach.”

Zach looked at me. Like, a real, actual look as if seeing me for the first time since June. I hated that I knew that face. His “I’m sorry” face that wanted to snuff out the scorn I so wanted to dish him. I could’ve sworn he wanted to say it, say something, but we both turned to look out the windshield, choosing silence.

“What the fu—” Zach choked on his words as the truck lurched over the thing running across the street.

A gray, two headed thing. With wings.

13 comments:

  1. I really like this, Christa. The characterisation is good, the dialogue is snappy and I really sympathised with the protagonist. I particularly like the line about needing this - "a craving worse than Dr. Pepper after days without, or my inhaler after sprinting down the block". Very evocative. :)

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  2. Loved the snarky, snappy dialogue and the characterization that carries through with it. Also, I want to know what the gray two-headed beast is. Loved the randomness of that last line and how it brings their argument to an abrupt end :)

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  3. Yup, you've definitely got something good going on here.
    Only thing that niggled:
    My eyebrows shot up and I leaned forward. “Excuse me? Civil conversation with the ex? Fail. Stop the car.”
    I don't think you need the action before Jessa speaks, because her words say it all!
    Love, love, love the last line!

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  4. I loved this scene. Possibly my favorite bit of dialogue in the whole story, and this line especially: "This bitch thing was kind of fun." Just perfect.

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  5. Thanks guys! And Sue, you know, I have to agree. *goes to nix*

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  6. Of course you already know my comments. I just love Jessa. She rocks.:)

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  7. WOW, that was INTENSE! Thanks for sharing!

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  8. It's always fun to see a stupid boy get taken down a notch or two, and I like how the scene gets interrupted before it descends into soap opera mode.

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  9. Christa, this is great. I love the snark. Jessa's a lively one. :)

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  10. Love it Christa! The only thing that jacked me up was the same part you already are nixing. It just made me keep stopping to try to figure it out. And at the beginning..."you're girlfriend" should be "your girlfriend".

    I like the banter, and you have a great way with body language and imagery. And I love the last line too!

    And by the way, go to my blog, I gave you an award!

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  11. I love women protagonists that aren't afraid to dish it out. Especially when there's a certain sadistic glee in it. The dialogue flowed really well. Great stuff.

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  12. Sharla, great catch, thanks! I hate when I do that << And thanks again everyone. I love Jessa. She's my hero, if only I could be as ballsy as her! Instead I get to live vicariously through her. Thanks again for reading.

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  13. Love this part! You have some great teenage imagery in here. This: "dug my heart out with a spork," is awesome. And the ending to this scene really makes me want to see more.

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