tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post4035261664264098431..comments2023-10-20T10:43:45.340-05:00Comments on ChristaCarol Jones: Author, Teacher, Mother: Teaser Tuesday - Nano Continuation #2ChristaCarol Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02908423468344511136noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-74671645962981729432009-12-02T05:34:08.291-06:002009-12-02T05:34:08.291-06:00Hehehe "bitch-itude" I LOVE IT! LOL Sorr...Hehehe "bitch-itude" I LOVE IT! LOL Sorry I won't get to read more until later. I want to know what's gonna happen... I really like this character's spunk.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-4622944692638431192009-12-01T21:42:13.043-06:002009-12-01T21:42:13.043-06:00Thanks again, guys! Glad the action is flowing rig...Thanks again, guys! Glad the action is flowing right.ChristaCarol Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02908423468344511136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-14214572500369991602009-12-01T21:31:47.531-06:002009-12-01T21:31:47.531-06:00Love the voice. "Give her a minute..." ...Love the voice. "Give her a minute..." priceless ;-) You're talented at action sequences! Good job!colbymarshallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14056535503422186623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-84582294991717452092009-12-01T19:20:02.830-06:002009-12-01T19:20:02.830-06:00I love it! It's so interesting, I want to keep...I love it! It's so interesting, I want to keep reading, especially because she'd dead/not dead, my kind of story!Hayley Lovellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16786674202167099600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-21453846772341532432009-12-01T15:58:43.874-06:002009-12-01T15:58:43.874-06:00Totally love your MC. Loved the line everyone else...Totally love your MC. Loved the line everyone else did, plus "bitch-itude." Also, liked the way you made "In the middle of the street" one sentence for empahsis--it really shows that your MC thought that was pretty whacked! I'm also totally curious what is going on here.<br /><br />I did get a little confused with all the up and down the hilling going on, and could use a tad more setting/description? But totally easy to fix.<br /><br />Great voice! :)houndrathttp://www.houndrat.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-59333907023669040122009-12-01T14:23:16.378-06:002009-12-01T14:23:16.378-06:00Nicely done, Christa. The combination of sarcasm a...Nicely done, Christa. The combination of sarcasm and shock is great. And a very interesting situation!sunnahttp://amybai.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-38470308378679640442009-12-01T13:51:44.437-06:002009-12-01T13:51:44.437-06:00Like the others, I love the humor mixed with the t...Like the others, I love the humor mixed with the tension. You did a great job with the scene. :D Loved the line with her whipping the cell out like a loaded gun! LOL! LOVED that!!!<br /><br />Reminds me of another show (can't remember which one) where one character used a mop to poke into another person's back. I think it might've been Diagnosis Murder... <br /><br />eh... anywhos, LOVED the scene and can't wait to see where it goes next!!!J.F. Posthumushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17033765098660171013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-41893249380805262742009-12-01T12:23:58.321-06:002009-12-01T12:23:58.321-06:00Thanks guys! Gretchen, I'll mess around with t...Thanks guys! Gretchen, I'll mess around with those lines to see if I can make them less weird.ChristaCarol Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02908423468344511136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-24678861653775419132009-12-01T12:14:46.878-06:002009-12-01T12:14:46.878-06:00I'm not having much comment mojo today, so I h...I'm not having much comment mojo today, so I hope this shows up!<br /><br />I like it. Especially the 'she's just been killed' line. Can't wait to see how this develops.sue laybournhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14549268075528924978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-50632909514692885952009-12-01T12:05:37.040-06:002009-12-01T12:05:37.040-06:00Must be something in the air. Everyone is doing th...Must be something in the air. Everyone is doing these creepy teasers today.<br /><br />I think this is very tough kind of scene to pull off, just because we see so many similar ones - wake up, find out you're dead, etc - and you did an excellent job of it. Loved the "give her a minute, she's just been killed" line! Nice mix of humor and confusion, and Cynthia's attitude is great.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6501611235905219648.post-67004795845962625632009-12-01T12:04:49.665-06:002009-12-01T12:04:49.665-06:00Great dialogue and now I'm totally intrigued b...Great dialogue and now I'm totally intrigued by what's going on. Couple of weird things. You start using the names Paul and Cynthia before Jessa knows that their names are Paul and Cynthia. Also, there were two lines that read weird to me - "A girl stepped from around me and squatted down next to the guy" - and - "I got to my feet in record time, putting the fact I wasn’t doubled over in pain in the back of my mind." I think both of them are just from overexplanation and could easily be cut.Gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09327185025020171674noreply@blogger.com