Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I Survived! (Teaser Tuesday)

Yay! I passed my classes, and am oh so very happy to have the next three weeks off to write, write, write before summer school starts!

I'm sure a lot of you may already know about the awesomeness that is going down for Do the Write Thing for Nashville, but if not, ZOMG, you need to head over there! A lot of the bids get really high, but it's for a great cause, and there are ways to donate whatever you want. I believe they will be doing a raffle sometime soon as well. All donations go to help the flood victims of Tennessee. Some fantastic agents, editors, authors, and pros of the biz are offering some amazing things! Like full manuscript critiques, lunch, signed books, query critiques, you name it! Check it out!

I'm still gathering my sanity back now that school is over, so nothing more intelligent to say. I'll leave you with a snippet from my Middle Grade WIP. Our MC is 11-year-old Gavin. A necklace found him on the way home from school (dropping from the sky) and it's shoved in his backpack which is left in the bathroom thanks to the pouring rain and him having to change into dry clothes. So enjoy, and Shine on!

***

Gavin peered out the bay window, searching for someone, a neighbor, a mailman, or maybe a burglar. “I saw someone walk past the bathroom window,” he said, eyes glued to the yard.

His dad laughed out his nose, short and breathy. He straightened the newspaper and returned to reading. “It’s pouring down rain, Gav. Shouldn’t you be cleaning up that mess in the foyer?”

“What?” Gavin broke his concentration to give his dad a confused look. “I have homework to do, make Lainey clean it up.”

“Excuse me?” His dad gave him a stern look.

“Why don’t you believe me? I swear I saw somebody.”

“Fine,” said his dad. He folded up the paper and placed it on the kitchen table. “If you’re that worried, I’ll go check it out. But while I do that, you need to go clean up that mess before someone slips and gets hurt.”

“It isn’t my mess,” Gavin muttered. He moped back to the bathroom to grab a towel. His dad was probably right, anyway. Mom had always gotten onto him for his overactive imagination. Besides, it was right in the middle of the day. Maybe it was a neighbor.

The warm doorknob turned in his hand and he pushed open the door. Two steps in, he froze. His eyes trailed from the towel on the rack, to the face and palms pressed against the outside of the fogged window.

“Dad!”

The person rushed out of sight. Gavin spun and darted out the bathroom. “Dad! I saw them! They’re running towards the fro—AHoomf!” His shoes squeaked over the tile and Gavin went careening through the foyer before smacking into the side of the stair banister.

“What’s going on? Any louder and you’ll wake up Kara!” His mom whispered harshly from the second floor.

Gavin couldn’t think straight. His eyes felt like they were rolling in the back of his head, and his shoulder like it was on fire. The same spot that stupid necklace had hit.

Gavin whipped his head to the opened bathroom door. The necklace. . .




23 comments:

  1. Woohoo! Congrats on finishing!

    Love the teaser, nice and creepy! I want to know what this necklace is about. :-)

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  2. Thanks! If only it was finishing completely! I still have plenty of years the rate I'm going :P

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  3. Yup, I'm with Ink.
    I want to know what this necklace is all about!
    My only quibble and it might just be me not being awake - I think Gavin seems a little distant from the reader. I can't really put my finger on it. I think you need to get into his head a little more.
    But I definitely like where this story is going.

    And, oh yes! Brilliant on the tests! That's a great result considering what all you have on your plate!

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  4. Ah, great teaser, and kind of spooky. lol. Congrats on the tests!

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  5. I'm hooked. I really love your voice! It's simple, but the images are crystal clear!

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  6. this is so great! i could see everything so clearly. jeesh. now I'm hooked. more please!!! :)

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  7. I love this! Wonderful hook and I'm dying to know more. And I love the "laughing out his nose" comment...I'm always trying to put body language and actions like that into words, and that is perfect.

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  8. Thanks, everyone! Sue, great point. It's been rough going back into third after writing in first for so long. I'll definitely go back and add some more internal stuff. Thanks again!

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  9. I am hooked! Extremely intrigue as to what is going on. Great Tease and hooray for passing your classes!

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  10. Great tease! Definitely intrigued by the necklace.

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  11. Nice tease! I'm curious--what made you decide to use third for this one, if you usually use first?

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  12. Congrats! Relax and enjoy those hard earned weeks!

    Love the teaser - you've got a great character there :)

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  13. Oooh, what's going on here? This sounds like a great story.

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  14. Great teaser, and congrats on the weeks off!!

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  15. So creepy, who's outside?! Great teaser, I want to keep reading :) Have fun with the time off!!

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  16. Thanks everyone! I will SO be enjoying the time off by WRITING! :P

    Phoebe: I wrote 3rd before I wrote 1st. And it's not really a preference more than "what's the best way to tell this story?" I feel like 3rd is the best for this story.

    :)

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  17. Congrats on passing your classes!!

    I really like the premise of this story, but I was totally sucked in when I read this. :D Makes me want to know more about this mysterious necklace.

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  18. Congrats on your classes!

    This is a great tease, good voice and imagery too. It's exactly how life is too, parents never seem to take the kids seriously. It was also creepy in a good way. =)

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  19. Congrats!!!

    I love the dialog here, and third person is refreshing every now and then. :) I will go along with the others and say it gave me the creeps a little, which is a very VERY awesome thing, since I heart the creepy!!

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  20. Lots of suspense in the teaser, I'm also curious about the necklace. I loved it!

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  21. Thanks all! Glad the creepy is working. Hm. Maybe I should make it a point to add more creepy in every now and again lol.

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  22. glad to see DIRFN is getting some press :) great snippet.

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